


Grenade Jumper

by loveandallthat



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Humor, M/M, if that bothers you, or at least my humor, there's one gross comment about spit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 14:36:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11534277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveandallthat/pseuds/loveandallthat
Summary: Chris Chow tries, briefly, to stay out of the fights between newly the roommate-d Derek Nurse and William Poindexter.He doesn't do an excellent job, but the results are still pretty good.For NurseyDex Week day 2: Bedsharing and Room Sharing





	Grenade Jumper

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally just a Fall Out Boy joke in 1300 words.
> 
> Not beta read. Please point out any errors you notice! I won't be offended. Probably.

Chris Chow loved his two best friends, loved them to bits. But they were also the two most frustrating people he’d ever met in his life, easily. It was getting so bad that Caitlin was tired of listening to him complain about them, and she was usually so incredibly understanding.

In his defense, OK, their behavior had gotten at least twenty times worse after they moved into the same room in the Haus, and Chris was only talking about them  _ maybe  _ ten times as often as he used to. What he was saying was, the ratios were definitely in his favor, no matter what Caitlin thought.

Just last week, he’d implemented a shower schedule--and why didn’t they think of that sooner, seriously? They were on mostly different schedules and often showered at the rink anyway, but the one time that Nursey had been in there, in no rush, with 20 minutes before Dex’s first class--well, it wasn’t pretty.

(Usually, when Chris was mentioning this specific incident to Caitlin, he was intentionally avoiding bringing up the time before that, when he had needed to shower and Dex and Nursey were arguing about which one of them would get to go first--and Chris had sneaked in and gotten the door locked before they realized what he was about to do.)

But as soon as they were done with the fight about the bathroom, they had started to fight about music. Nursey accused Dex of being boring; Dex insisted that Nursey was trying too hard to be hipster and  _ only  _ liked his music because nobody else had ever heard of it. Nursey had joked that wasn’t the only reason, and Dex had clearly fought a smile before he argued back.

“Maybe you don’t need to be as involved in their drama as you are,” Caitlin suggested. Chris loved her so much, because he could tell that it really was just a suggestion. She wasn’t arguing that it was true, just trying to offer him an alternative perspective in case he was too close to the situation to see it objectively. And since he definitely was too close, he decided to operate under the belief that her theory was correct.

Chris said nothing when they were fighting over whether or not to open the window. He looked the other way when they fought over the last piece of pie in the middle of the night--and what were they both doing in the kitchen then, anyway? He had to forcefully press his lips together to suppress the urge to comment on their Team Edward/Team Jacob argument. There was no possible way that they were actually invested in that! They must have just been arguing to argue.

Then, of course, it had to come to this. Dex and Nursey were fighting over Chris. Worse still, they were speculating which side he would have been on in  _ every single one of their past arguments. _

Something must have been building up in him over the past week, because he couldn’t help but ask, “Do you have nothing better to do?”

As soon as he said it, he covered his mouth with both hands. Dex and Nursey gaped at him, and he made a hasty tactical retreat, bumping slightly into the doorframe before turning around to head down the stairs and out the front door, towards Caitlin’s room.

When he’d knocked enough that his arm was kind of tired, she finally emerged from her room, in pajamas, looking extremely cute and also adorable and so, so gorgeous and really sexy. Chris briefly forgot what he came for.

“Oh, right,” he said, looking a little over her left shoulder to try not to be distracted. “Leaving them alone did not work.”

Caitlin Farmer, best girlfriend ever, just led him to her bed by the hem of his t-shirt.

\---

“Everything’s chill now,” Nursey said.

“I really want to believe you,” Chris insisted, because he definitely did. “But you would probably say that even if you guys hadn’t spoken in years.”

“Not speaking is pretty chill. But I mean we’re fine! We figured it out; we’re done fighting, Don’t worry about us anymore.”

“That’s not convincing at all--wait, have you been talking to Caitlin?”

Nursey frowned at him. “Why would I be talking to Farmer without you?”

“Never mind. Definitely do not worry about that. Everything is fine and I’m very chill.”

“Right, me too,” Nursey replied.

“So we’re good here?” Chowder asked uncertainly.

“Of course, bro,” Nursey replied. “Now can we please go get ice cream?”

“Yes! I want three scoops. At least.”

“That’s a terrible idea and I’m not going to stop you,” Nursey promised.

Chris smiled wide, making sure to wait until Nursey was grinning back at him. “That’s why I love you.”

\---

A few days later found Chris studying with Dex. They weren’t in the same class anymore, but there was enough overlap that they could still help each other with the topics they were weaker in. They ended up learning more than they probably needed to, almost enough that they both may as well have just signed up for the other’s classes in addition to their own. But it worked for them.

Eventually, Chris looked up and opened his mouth to ask about Nursey, unable to hold back any longer.

“Nurse and I are fine,” Dex said.

“That’s not helpful!” Chris said, a little too loud. “Sorry,” he apologized, to the other patrons. “You’re just lying to make me stop asking you.”

“I am not,” Dex insisted. He sounded really sincere, but he couldn’t make eye contact. Something was still clearly going on.

Chris squinted, suspicious. Then he got distracted. “You forgot a closing bracket,” he said, pointing.

“Oh, thanks.”

“Don’t thank me! Answer my questions.”

Dex looked awkward, alt-tabbing his way through his currently open programs instead of actually doing anything with all of them. Chris tried not to snoop. “We’re fine. We came to an understanding after you left. You kind of shook us up a little, especially when you didn’t come back.”

One of the windows was a Facebook chat with Nursey, like they were talking on purpose when they weren’t even being forced to share space. That was even weirder!

Dex tracked his gaze and stopped his task switching, letting it end up on the project he was supposed to be working on.

“I added that function here that you were working on in your class. I thought we’d be in really good shape if we could figure out how it interacts with what I’m working on.”

He thought back to his time with Nursey at the beginning of the week. “That’s why I love you,” he said, smiling at his own private joke.

\---

The next time Chris walked into their room, they were extremely horizontal and joined at the mouth, though it looked more like they were joined everywhere. Until they heard him squeak slightly as he was trying to back out the way he’d came.

“Wow! Leaving, what a good idea!” Chris said, taking small steps away.

He was too slow, however. They disentangled themselves from each other, advancing on him, preditorially, and Chris would never, ever run from his two best friends, except for that time when he did. This time, he stood his ground.

After they had some kind of weird conversation with their eyes, which Chris hoped wasn’t an actual ability that they had somehow discovered, they each came to a stop on either side of him in the hallway. Then, at almost the exact same second, they each kissed him on one side of his face. Nursey was a little close to his ear, leaving it ringing, and Dex surprisingly was almost at the corner of his mouth.

Chris had just enough time to wonder what percentage of the spit now on each side of his face belonged to its respective kisser before Nursey leaned back in to say, “We love you back.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have a weird need to write at least 1000 words before I post something, even though I'm busy this week and forgot to plan ahead. I'm having so much fun though! Thank you for all the lovely comments on [my day 1 fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11523792).
> 
> Please comment anything! Especially criticism. Even if it's not constructive. But also any thoughts are accepted, tangential ones included.
> 
> Find me on tumblr as [loveandallthat](http://loveandallthat.tumblr.com/)! I take prompts for tons of fandoms and pairings.


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